I decided for this profile to be anonymous because this is my way to get rid of some thaughts that I don't want to share with friends or family. Writing has always healped me to get the weight of my heart so I hope that someone will finde this interesting to read. My blogs will mostly content the sad and personal stuff in my life, so hope someone will enjoy this.
Lots of Love to all the readers and visitors.
Once again ..
To be honest, I don’t feel like sharing this, not because I don’t want to get this of my chest, or tell, but because I would have to think about it. This is something that I have been trying to forget, but the thoughts of it still keep me awake at night. This is one of the reasons I created this account, probably the biggest one. I needed to share it, to let someone know how I felt, without holding anything back. This is a thing, that makes me feel so ridicules, a thing that I still don’t quite understand, but I will not drag it out any more, so here it comes. I think that the ones that are going to read it will maybe get surprised of what this is actually about, but sadly, it is what it is. Well, how should I start this? I am a person who has been hurt many times, and whether you like it or not, there will come a breaking point, and the worse thing is, that it doesn’t come when you expect it, and it doesn’t only come once. I have reached one of mine. I have been hurt by someone I fell in love with over only five days. Trust me, I bet that to the most of you will think that this sound ridicules, and you would think that I am a weak person, but don’t judge, I am not weak, and to me this still feels ridicules. I don’t believe in love, I never did, and I still don’t. I don’t even know how to explain what love is to me. Newer in my life has it hit me so hard, or so student. Everything was perfect, and I let myself fall into it. I felt happy, everything felt so right that I didn’t even know how to react. It felt so right that it felt wrong. We almost didn’t know each other but newer in my life have I felt something that was so real, and suddenly, everything feel apart. He didn’t want me. I was not good enough. There was someone else, which he thought was better for him. I couldn’t even look at him, I couldn’t breath, it felt like a thousand pieces of glass pierced throw my heart. I couldn’t believe it, how could this happen again? The emptiness hit me in a split second; it was nothing like before, but worse than ever. I thought he could rescue me. I was reaching for help, and got shot down, and once again, not being good enough strangled me. It has been 3 month now, and thinking back is hard, though I feel like it helps in a weird way.
